The Waves Put You To Sleep
officialiwrotethisforyou: I love you like I love the sea. And I’m ok with drowning.
So here’s what I’d like you to do: Why don’t you just think of...– Jon Stewart
My brother crashed my car... A few days after he...
Sometimes I forget how much beer is in a 22 oz...
The only time you look in your neighbors bowl is to make sure that they have...– Louis C.K.
I’ve observed the following rule: if a woman gets so close to me that she...– Wild Thing Josh Bazell
itsa-memario: Ho Hey // The Lumineers
The physical world has rules, and physical objects in it tend to obey those...– Wild Thing Josh Bazell
There are two ways to be happy: improve your reality, or lower your...– Jodi Picoult, Nineteen Minutes (via imsimplywalkingintomordor)
All beer is at least mildly interesting.– Wild Thing Josh Bazell
In metric, one milliliter of water occupies one cubic centimeter, weighs one...– Wild Thing Josh Bazell
When you let go of everything, there's nothing to...
Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always...– Wayne Dyer
"The Santa Clause"
There’s this one scene in the movie where Tim Allen’s character is talking to one of the girl elves and she gives him some hot chocolate and she’s all “shaken, not stirred.” I understand this is an allusion to James Bond, but my real question is how does she shake it? Is it in one of those martini or other mixed drink shakers? Or does she use a glass shakey-bottle? I...
The Grand Distraction
officialiwrotethisforyou: And every day, the world will drag you by the hand, yelling “This is important! And this is important! And this is important! You need to worry about this! And this! And this!” And each day, it’s up to you, to yank your hand back, put it on your heart and say “No. This is what’s important.”
If one can stick to the training throughout the many long years, then will power...– Emil Zatopek
What stops you here is what stops your entire life.” The air will always...– Haunted Chuck Palahniuk
You cannot be the person they know and the great, glorious person you want to...– Haunted Chuck Palahniuk
My family, after dinner.
Dad: What is wrong with you and your sister? Why don't you go and get a girlfriend?
Me: Why would I want one of those?
Dad: You two need to stop being so weird. Zack's the only normal one around here.
Maria: Zack is outside making a dreamcatcher...
Dad: So the dog is the only one that is normal here?
Maria: The dog is currently having a meltdown on the carpet...
Dad: So just the cat then?
Me: The cat winks at people and then drools on them.
everybodiessomebody: Wishin’ I was Knee deep in...
What stops you in the outside world, that will stop you in here.– Haunted Chuck Palahiuk
The people who really, actually love us, Mr. Whittier said they’d beg us...– Haunted Chuck Palahniuk
Few families hold their relations as closely as do prisons. Few marriages...– Damned Chuck Palahniuk
intothewideninggyre: The Trapeze Swinger//Iron...
“Regrets, Blacksmith, make poor currency. You can’t buy back with...– The Infernals John Connolly
This world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel– Horace Walpole